literature

That Time I Almost Met Steve Martin

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Literature Text

A couple days ago in the past I was existing as person when I bumped into the hypothetical existence of Steve Martin. He was hanging out with several of the dead members of Monty Python including two that hadn't died yet.

I couldn't believe my luck at having an existential non-encounter with idealized personifications of between four and five of my favourite celebrities.

"Guitar Hat!" I screamed. "You guys are reason I dedicated myself to the study of entropy in a non-euclidean universe by not getting a job."

I was met with a stony silence and a Led Zeppelin indifference. Only the seventh member of Python who had died before existing even bothered to look at me. He had been my most treasured potential star ever since failing to join the members of Monty Python when they formed a popular rock band in another dimension.  Yet even he chose that moment to wish he had written the fish slapping dance instead of personalizing our shared existence.

As if to further belittle me, an albatross chose just that moment to fly by.  It held a thermos and ping pong paddle clutched tight in its beak. it did not come with wafers.
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